With regards to your query, be informed of the following:
- The Sharīʿah does give the walī (in your case, your father) a certain discretionary right in the choice of partner.
- This right of the walī, however, is neither absolute nor incontrovertible. It has to be exercised within the guidelines set by the Sharīʿah.
- Belonging to different racial groups (in this case, Indian and Malay) is not regarded as one of the acceptable grounds for a walī to refuse permission.
- Cognisance must be taken in this respect of the ḥadīth in which RasūluLlah H said:
إذا جاءكم من ترضونه دينه وخلقه فأنكحوه، إلا تفعلوه تكن فتنة في الأرض وفساد. (رواه الترمذي 1085 وحسَّنه)
If there comes to you (with a proposal of marriage) one of whose religion and character you approve, then give unto him in marriage. If you fail to do so there will be strife and corruption on earth. (Tirmidhī 1085)
- Where it is proven that the walī is abusing his right by withholding permission for the marriage to proceed for reasons other than those stipulated by the Sharīʿah, he forfeits his discretionary right. In this case the marriage may proceed despite his objection and without his consent.
- However, depriving the walī of his right as walī should only be considered as an ultimate last resort. Prior to taking that step all possible efforts should be made by both family and friends to persuade the walī not to unreasonably obstruct the marriage. Having a marriage to which a father consented, even grudgingly so, is infinitely better than having one in which a father was stripped, even justifiably, of his rights as walī.
والله تعالى أعلم
And Allah knows best.
MT Karaan