Authority of Name giving

السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته

1. It is preferable and desirable for both parents to collaborate and mutually decide on a name that pleases them both. Shura, or consultation, is a Qur’anic principle that reinforces the bonds within households and communities. [Quran, 42:38]
2. In cases where the mother and father cannot reach a consensus regarding their child’s name, the father has the authority to make the final decision. [Al-Ramli, Nihayah]
3. The fact that the mother and her family chose a name and hosted a naming ceremony without consulting you, the father, is problematic.
4. I would recommend that you engage the local Imam of their community or the Imam of their family. At the very least, the mother and her family should be informed that it was inappropriate and Islamically incorrect to exclude you from this decision-making process.
5. Nonetheless, if the name chosen by the mother and her family carries a good meaning, we advise, in the spirit of fostering better relationships, that you consider affirming the name they have chosen.

والله تعالى أعلم

And Allāh knows best

 النصوص المستندة إليها

الشرواني في حاشيته على التحفة جـــــ 12 صـــ 297

 (قَوْلُهُ: أَنْ يُسَمِّيَ فِيهِ) وَيَنْبَغِي أَنَّ التَّسْمِيَةَ حَقُّ مَنْ لَهُ الْوِلَايَةُ مِنْ الْأَبِ وَإِنْ لَمْ تَجِبْ عَلَيْهِ نَفَقَتُهُ لِفَقْرِهِ

سعيد باعشن على المقدمة الحضرمية (المسمى بشرى الكريم) صــ708

( و ) يسن ( حلق شعره ) أي : شعر رأسه ( بعد الذبح ) كما في الحاج ولو أنثى ، وأن يكون يوم السابع كالتسمية ، ولو سقطا بلغ أوان النفخ. . فيعق عنه ، ويسمى ؛ احتياطا ، والتسمية لمن له الولاية وإن لم تجب عليه النفقة ، كالأب فالجد ، ولا عبرة بتسمية غيرهما ، وينبغي كونها قبل الذبح .